Technology

Gadget Reviews Wire Worries

This month, Murphy Simmonds is wrapped up in wires

"You got wires going in. You got wires coming out of your skin." So sung Athlete, and while they were relaying the harrowing experience of having a loved one in hospital, we like to sing it at our toaster.

No disrespect to the band and their original sentiment – it’s just that the acoustics right by our toaster are amazing. And, of course, our toaster does have wires going in, and indeed wires coming out.

It’s really the only thing wrong with toasters. They are, by and large, the perfect product creating the perfect foodstuff, hampered only by the big…

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Games Reviews Final Fantasy XIII-2, Soul Calibur V, Resident Evil: Revelations

We cast our eyes over the latest video game releases

Final Fantasy XIII won huge critical acclaim in its home turf of Japan. But while western audiences lapped up its luscious looks and smart battle system, many were frustrated by the linear gameplay. Sequel Final Fantasy XIII-2 (4 stars, PS3/X360, Square Enix) opens up that gameplay to the detriment of its story – a trade-off we’ll gladly accept. Refinements to the combat are welcome too: its core mechanic of shifting "paradigms" is faster, and monsters can be captured and levelled-up to fight as your third party member. This is not a game for those unconvinced by the fighting system first…

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Gadget Reviews Ride in Dalek

This month, Murphy Simmonds is raising a generation of killing machines

Kids these days, eh? You feed them. You water them. You move to the nice part of town to make sure they don’t become crackheads. You do damn near everything for the little blighters, but when the time comes to send them out on an assassination mission, what do they do?

Cry and go to their room, is what. Bam – you lose out on a lucrative £30,000 contract and the Queen of Bolivia, or whoever your target may be, escapes with her brains and skull frustratingly intact.

It was far easier in the olden days. Back then, children had…

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Games Reviews Mario Kart 7, Sonic Generations, Assassin's Creed Revelations

We cast our eyes over the latest video game releases

It’s January, which means the great gaming drought has begun. So we’re taking a look at a couple of big titles from the end of 2011 that we didn’t have space for, because the only new games out this month are things like Cross Channel Ferry Manager and Super Binman.

First up is the best version of Mario Kart for 15 years. Mario Kart 7 (5 stars, 3DS, Nintendo) brings everyone’s favourite knockabout racing series to Nintendo’s 3DS handheld. Why so good? It boasts a wealth of superbly designed tracks (16 new, 16 cribbed from the prequels), it offers a…

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Gadget Reviews VW Camper Van Tent

This month, Murphy Simmonds is camping it up

Do you like camping? We like camping. We love nothing more than to strap sheeting and poles to our back, traipse across a few mountains, lovingly assemble our tent, sit inside it shivering, briefly go outside to defecate behind a bush, then finally fall blissfully asleep with a rock jabbing our spine.

From that description, it might sound like we don’t actually like camping. And you’d be quite right, we don’t. It’s rubbish. Sure, it’s a fun feeling to climb inside a temporary cloth house in the middle of a field, but then the fun goes away, and it’s cold…

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Games Reviews Dance Central 2, PES 2012, Forza 4, Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One, NBA 2K12, Ace Combat: Assault Horizon

We cast our eyes over the latest video game releases

Dance Central 2 (5 stars, X360, Microsoft) is the best reason to own Kinect. This updates last year’s Dance Central with new tracks, added polish and simultaneous two-player action. Busting moves to the on-screen dancers’ prompts is honestly as much fun as we have had gaming for ages. A fantastic party game with plenty of single-player draw.

As FIFA 2012wins the critics’ hearts as the best football sim, is there still a place for Pro Evolution Soccer? PES 2012 (4 stars, PC/PS3/X360, Konami) proves there is. A couple of years in the doldrums has…

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Games Reviews Dead Island, Resistance 3, Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine, Driver: San Francisco, El Shaddai, Rise of Nightmares, Ico & Shadow of the Colossus

We cast our eyes over the latest videogame releases

If a game’s success was measured in how much of it wasn’t broken, Dead Island (4 stars, PC/PS3/X360, Deep Silver) would be a flop. This glitchy open-world title is best described as Fallout 3 with zombies and better melee combat. Beneath the bugs lies the traditional structure of a modern, first-person RPG – exploring, battling, looting, levelling – and the relentless joy of beating the guts out of the walking dead.

Sony may never have a Halo-beater, but its PS3 exclusive shooters are going from strength to strength. February’s Killzone 3 was a series…

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Gadget Reviews iTwin

Murphy Simmonds is tying string to yoghurt pots and climbing up trees

When you were little, somebody will have shown you the trick with two yoghurt pots and a length of string. You know the one: you stick a hole in each pot, thread the string through it, then put tights over your head and rob an off-licence.

Our childhood was unusual, though, so perhaps you were shown the other trick, in which one person stands at one end with the pot to their mouth while the other climbs up a tree and holds the pot to their ear. The person on the ground whispers insults into the pot and the other…

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Games Reviews Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Fighter III, Toy Soldiers: Cold War

We cast our eyes over the latest video game releases

A decade ago, Deus Ex combined unremarkable shooting with remarkable freedom of choice to deliver a game which remains tremendously influential today. Chief among those influenced is Deus Ex: Human Revolution (4 stars, PC/PS3/X360, Square Enix) a nominal prequel which updates the formula without losing what made it great in the first place.

Telling a near-future tale of corporations, conspiracy and robotic body enhancements – with a clear debt to Blade Runner – it offers a degree of choice which could be bewildering to those weaned on Call of Duty. Missions can be approached all guns blazing, softly softly using…

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Gadget Reviews Fit Fur Life Treadmill

This month, Murphy Simmonds looks for the best way to walk a dog in the middle of the sea

It’s a common problem. You own a dog, but you live on a small boat in the middle of a sea. Twice a day your beloved pet looks hopefully up a you with his or her loving eyes, only to be told: no, there are no walkies now; there will be no walkies later; in fact, there will never, ever be any walkies for all of the rest of time, because we live on a tiny boat, you and I, and that tiny boat is in the middle of the sea.

Dogs, being dogs, can only grasp the very first…

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